Moonlight Dreams
by Belldame
Summary: Toffee's dreams have always been frustrating.


Title: Moonlight Dreams

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Toffee's dreams have always been frustrating.

In the sense that he always dreamed about the things he wanted, and never had, or the things he was plotting to get, but was so close to losing.

Pushed into servitude by the Butterfly family, he dreamed of destroying their kingdom. He wasn't megalomaniac: he didn't seek power to rule their land, simply, that was how much he despised the Butterflies. The very name felt wrong to him, felt vicious, felt poisonous, it entered his mind and left a bad taste behind.

He supposed it was because they had destroyed his home, so long ago.

Those things just aren't forgiven.

She at least, had seemed different.

Moon had always been sensible, sensitive of the power she held. She was smart, maybe slightly sad as well. Weighed down by the responsibilities she knew were to devastating to betray, always desiring to keep order, desiring to take the road that had the least amount of casualties. He had seen her grow, and had seen the light in her eyes go from smart, to aware, to sad, and finally to resolved.

And yet, when she looked at him, and he saw what was reflected in her eyes, he saw that there wasn't the same kind of guilty revulsion he saw in other Mewmen. She looked at him, _really_ looked at him, took the time to be polite, saw a sadness in him that she though similar to her own.

And maybe she had wished.

Like he had wished.

He had wished.

He had hoped.

Oh how he'd made the mistake of being hopeful.

At first he had just been hoping that she would be smarter, smarter then her family. Their was a spirit inside her -tired, yes- but he thought that maybe, with the right push, the right lie, the right anger, it would come out. And she would be devastating, and she would _see_.

And for that, he let her get close to him.

He let her ask him the questions she wanted, he let her talk to him, come to him, see him. He thought he could worm his way into her head, seed in her thoughts. He never thought it could work both ways.

Her smiles always seemed a little too sad, a little too tender, towards him.

There were things he noticed that he wasn't supposed to.

He noticed the way her white hair fell down her back, with a wave and a slight tint of blue.

The way her dresses swayed on her legs.

The way her pink lips stretched and curled with her words.

He dropped a book, she bent to pick it up, so did he, panicked. Her hands covered his, as his covered the book. She looked at him, then looked away, embarrassed. And he thought he should say something, he searched her eyes, his mouth opened, and then...

"I met River today."

* * *

He had failed, he had underestimated just how loyal she was to her family.

It had been night. The moonlight streaming darkly unto the linen sheets.

"Moon, what are you doing?"

She turned to him, slightly flushed. She is in his room, dressed in a blue nightgown. His eyes linger a little on her shoulders, before he snaps his eyes back up. She smiles, glancing at the brown bags on his beds. He didn't want her to see those.

"You're leaving?" she asks, and Toffee sighs.

"Yes."

She turns around and walks to the windows, overlooking the kingdom that had rotted his mind for so long. But _she_ looked over the kingdom with devotion and contemplation. He saw the look in her eyes, and his stomach churned.

"Are you mad, Toffee?"

There is no okay way to answer that.

She looks at him, blue moonlight in her eyes. "Is it because of me and River?"

"It's because of a lot of things."

She looks down, and he sees a slight tremble in her shoulders.

She chuckles, a little. "River always knows how to make me laugh, you know? My family… they always disliked the Johanssons, they can't stand their barbarism. But River… he likes me, he likes my sarcasms. When I explode, when I get selfish, when I can't stand to put up a smile on my face… he's there, he isn't put off, he sees the uglier sides of me, and when I'm with him... those sides don't feel so bad anymore. He… sees the sadness inside me… and he doesn't get scared..."

She stops, then adds, softly: "I always tend to fall in love with those kinds of men."

She looks at him and he looks back, there is a shortness of breath. A silence that has always existed just in their dreams.

"Oh Toffee," she whispers, dryly, "Is it possible to carry two people in your heart?"

At this, she cries. "Is it selfish? I've always done nothing but give for my kingdom, I've tried to love the 'right' people, I've tried to learn the 'right' things, I've tried to stifle the little voices inside my head, to stifle my desires, all so I could try to make as many people as possible happy. I-"

"It's not River, its… its because of other things."

She sighs.

It's because he's mad at himself for thinking she was any different, it's because he had hoped that she would turn around and slam the door on her family, like Eclispa had done so many generations ago. It's because he had hoped that the chains around the both of them would be finally severed. It was because he was mad at all the wasted time spent hoping, wasted, wasted his life.

She turned to him, and as she walked, he could smell her faint perfume, like lavender.

It's because he's mad that he couldn't just take her, just leave, with her, together.

"Please Toffee, you have to sign the Septarian-Mewmen accord."

He looks away.

She puts a hand on his arm.

"Toffee, please, this was the best I could come up with, I… I know it's not ideal, especially for you, but it was the best I could come up with… so that… so that the most amount of people turn out okay… So that… So that there isn't another war-"

"I won't."

She pulls her hand away, shuddering.

A moment passed, like a shattered picture.

He doesn't dare look at her, he waits for her to leave, to storm out, to call him a monster. She does none of that, her hand comes up to his face, and she turns his head to her's.

"Toffee I… I love you… please believe me… I… I know I've made some bad decisions but I care about you, I love you, I don't want you hurt… I just… I… I…" And her eyes well up with tears. "Please… Toffee… look at me…"

He feels her fingers, like tears, on his face.

She pulls him closer to her.

Her skin, delicately framed by her nightgown.

Her white hair like rivers.

She traces the outlines of his teeth.

She brings her face closer to his, eyes closed

But he remains cold.

His fist balled. It was because of _her_ - _Her!-_ That they couldn't be together.

He pushes her away.

"Leave, Moon."

She left.

* * *

It had been so much easier to be enemies.

There had been anger, there had been hate, there had been war, there had been things that were done that could never be taken back, could never be forgiven.

But things had changed, most definitely, he thought, as he felt the green shard in his hand.

Now he had the power, and the ability to finally end the Butterfly's monarch.

And only a handful of enemies who stood in his way.

"Hello, Moon."

Oh how they met again, on the sides of the battlefield, with power on his side and recognition in her eyes.

The years had passed and changed her, and her face was heavy with the enemies she had made, her body bearing the weight of someone else's child.

Sadness dulled and anger never left. This was a new declaration of war, and this time he had the wand and she was powerless to stop him.

Yes, it was easier to be enemies, he told himself, the anger in him would never accept forgiveness, would never bend until he or his enemies died. And the weight of the 'darkest spell' clung to his mind like a tumor, just like her face, that day, full of embroiled anger, clung to his memories.

It was easier to hate her as a Butterfly.

But it didn't make his dreams easier.

In his dreams, she was there, blue moonlight on her face, wearing a blue nightgown, the weight of someone else's child in her body.

In his dreams, he feels her fingers on his cheeks, like tears.

In his dreams, she pulls him closer.

Her skin, delicately framed by her nightgown.

Her white hair like rivers.

In his dreams, she traces the outlines of his teeth.

In his dreams, she brings her face closer to his, eyes closed.

And in his dreams, he kisses her.

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 **Thank you for reading.**

 **Reviews are always appreciated.**


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